is set some goals

It was just over a year ago (April 12 to be exact) that I failed the beep test and decided to start running.  With the encouragement of Jenn Foulser who was working with me at PRSS and Denise Wilson, the PE teacher who allowed me to run with her class, I set a goal of running 5k at the Cannery Run in September.  I managed to do that in 32:05 which I thought was pretty good.

My next goal was 10K and I was working on that until my retina detached and I had to take almost three months off.  Fortunately, the Learn2Run program started just as my eye was healing enough to begin running again.

(Momentary digression:  I had no idea what the Learn2Run program would do or how I would respond.  Turns out it was one of the best decision I could have made.  The trainers are not just good runners with a program that we can follow.  They are exceptionally knowledgeable and incredibly enthusiastic and supportive.  On top of that, running with a group motivates me far more than I would have imagined.  There is always somebody in front of me that drives me to keep going.  If they don't stop, then I won't stop.  If they do stop, then I want to pass them.)

We are almost finished the program and the goal has been from the beginning to participate in the 10k Glory Days in May.  I am certain that I will be able to do that.  Last week, I completed the 8k run at the Rupert Half Marathon (in 52:19) and I had no trouble running for an hour on Tuesday.  So here is where my new goals kick in.

Whenever I attempted running in the past, I had no idea of pacing.  I would burn out early, get discouraged and quit.  (Another digression:  An advantage of Learn2Run is the forced pacing that the program follows.  We started by running for ONE minute and walking for two.  I remember when running 3 minutes and walking one was a big chore.  But starting slow and building up has made a 60 minute run manageable.)

Now I have a pretty good pace (for me.)  I manage about 6.5 minutes for each kilometer.  That's what I did at the Cannery Run over 5k and that's what I did last week over 8k.  So my first goal is to improve on that pace.  Not by a lot because I don't want to burn out, but I think there is room to improve. 

And to make this a goal a real challenge (for me) is to aim for beating my age in a 10K race.  I am almost 61 so I have to finish in under 61 minutes.   I am not sure I have given myself enough time for this year's race.  At my current pace, I should finish around 65 minutes.  But even if I don't do it this year, each year I stay alive allows me another chance and also another minute.  Next year, I will have 62 minutes to reach my goal.  Anyway, that is goal #1.

Goal number #2 might be unattainable, but I want to at least try.  If I say it to enough people (and this blog has at least a couple of readers) then I will feel obligated to follow through.  I am going to see how much time through the summer I have for training but I would like to complete the half marathon at the Cannery Run in September. At my current pace, I would need about 2 hours and 15 minutes. 

So to make sure that it is on the record, here is Goal #2:   "I would like to complete a half marathon before I die.  It might be what kills me but I'll give it a shot just the same."

is sum it all up

I am not even sure how I can summarize the four gospels.   First of all, if you don’t believe in a god, then it is difficult to believe in the son of a god, and the gospels did not convince me that there was any reason to change my mind in that regard.

The story isn’t bad if I can ignore the fact that it is told four times and all slightly differently.  Combining all four gospels to make one story would be the best way to go.   I am sure it has been done before in written form and it has certainly been done that way for movies and TV.

I have no doubt that Jesus was an inspired man who had a deep faith in his god and wanted to spread a message of love and forgiveness.  He also talked about a Kingdom and resurrected bodies after death.  For some reason, he became a threat and was crucified.  

I certainly don’t have a problem with most of the teachings that Jesus passes on.   Love your enemy as well as your neighbour, turn the other cheek, judge not lest ye be judged, casting the first stone,  the prodigal son, the good Samaritan, etc. are all worth following.   

  

All of us have our own beliefs.  As someone who doesn’t believe in god or an afterlife, then Jesus’ teaching about the Kingdom and the resurrection and the way to reach god don’t mean a lot to me.  In the latter instance, if I did believe in a god, then I would assume that there would be many methods to reach that god.  I can’t imagine an all-powerful, all-knowing, god limiting our ways to approach him.  The Jews, Sikhs, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists can all reach their own “kingdom” with whatever all-encompassing being they believe in without the need of a man who lived 2000 years ago.

And I actually find the death of Jesus as some kind of redeeming feature almost creepy.  He died for us.  He died to set us free.  He died to take away our sins.  Did Jesus have to be crucified for all of that to happen?  Could Jesus have lived to a ripe old age and still have meaning for us.   I really don’t get this need for a sacrificial lamb.

All of us, whether we believe in a god or not, can reach some kind of inner peace with ourselves by leading decent lives, by trying to make a difference, and by being content with what we have.  Personally, I don’t see the need for an afterlife. I would like to think that all of us can have a meaningful effect on others.  Hopefully, people will want to emulate our good qualities but perhaps someone will be motivated to improve by observing our flaws.  It doesn’t matter. 

I am not sure why we feel the need for an afterlife.  There is birth and there is death.  We have a shot at doing something and then someone else has their turn.  I have no problem accepting that.  

is know the rest of the story (John 20 - 21)

John’s is the strangest, most complicated gospel so it shouldn’t be a surprise that his telling of the resurrection should be different.  In the other three gospels Mary Magdalene and another woman arrive at the tomb and in various tellings see that the stone has been removed and that Jesus is not there.  They go to tell the disciples.  In John, Mary Magdalene is alone and when she sees that the rock has been removed, she runs to tell Peter and "the disciple that Jesus loved" (the one at the cross mentioned).  Given the various minor differences in other scenes this shouldn’t be a big deal.  But...

Peter and the other disciple run to the tomb.  The one that Jesus loved gets there first but he doesn’t go in.  Peter goes in and sees the tomb is empty.   Then the disciple “who got there first” goes in and believes.  Peter and the disciple return home.  Why this emphasis on the unnamed disciple?

At this point, Mary Magdalene looks in the tomb and sees two angels.  When she turns around she sees Jesus but she does not recognize him.   When she finally realizes that it is Jesus, he tells her to tell the disciples that he is returning to his Father.  She does so, but Jesus doesn't return to his Father.  He meets with the disciples and tells them that if they forgive people’s sins the people will be forgiven.

A week later he again returns to the disciples (through a locked door) and this time Thomas is present.  He didn’t believe the disciples when they told him about the first visit.  He wanted proof.   Jesus tells Thomas to touch his hands and his side and believe.  Then Jesus says to Thomas, “Do you believe because you see me?   How happy are those that believe and don’t see.”  Finally, Jesus returns to the disciples a third time and helps them catch 153 fish.  

Jesus then asks Peter if he loves him and Peter replies that he does.  Jesus asks him three times (probably symbolic of the three denials) and Peter responds that he does.  Jesus then warns Peter of Peter’s own death.

Finally we learn the identity of the other disciple – the one that Jesus loved, the one that Jesus said would now be Mary’s son, the one that reached the tomb in a race with Peter.  It is the gospel writer John, "the one that told of these things, and the one that wrote everything down.  And we know what he said is true.”

The last line is interesting to me.  It sounds like the writer of this gospel is not John but perhaps a disciple of John who is retelling the events that John told.   It is also interesting because there seems to be some attempt at making John more important than the other gospel writers and the other disciples.  In Luke there is an argument between the disciples about which one is the greatest and in Mark, the brothers James and John ask to be placed on either side of Jesus in the Kingdom.  Now, in this gospel we have John being declared  the one Jesus loved most.  John is the one that Jesus told to be Mary’s son.  John is the first to reach the empty tomb.  And John’s gospel is true.  

In his letter to Theophilus that begins his gospel, Luke says that many stories have been written and that he wants Theophilus to know the truth.  John’s gospel also wants to ensure that people know that it is the truth.  Matthew mentions the Jews bribing the Romans to tell that the body of Jesus was stolen while the guards slept.  I am wondering what stories are out there that were not considered the truth.

is learn the name of the disciple (John 18 - 19)

There are similarities and differences between the ending of John and the other gospels.  There is no last supper although Jesus did mention earlier that he was the bread of life.  I can’t remember if he symbolically eats bread at that time.  Jesus is betrayed by Judas and denied by Peter.  

He is questioned by the Jewish authorities and sent to Pilate and Pilate cannot find anything wrong with Jesus.  The big difference at least for me in the Pilate scene is when Pilate asks if Jesus is a king.  Jesus replies that his kingdom is not of this world, that he was brought here to bear witness to the truth.  And Pilate asks, “What is truth?”  Unfortunately Jesus does not answer; at least John does not provide an answer.  I for one would have appreciated an answer.

Pilate asks the crowd what they want him to do and they demand that Jesus be crucified.  Instead he has Jesus whipped and dressed with the purple robe and a crown of thorns.  Pilate again brings Jesus out and tells the crowd that he can see nothing wrong but they continue to demand his death.  Pilate becomes frightened when he learns that Jesus has been called the son of God and tries to find a way to set him free.  But the crowd also taunts Pilate by claiming that he would not be a friend of the emperor if he set free somebody who claimed to be a king.   Pilate finally relents and Jesus is sent to be crucified.

All of the gospels have Pilate very unwilling to have Jesus killed.  But, John seems to be emphasizing the political side of the controversy more than the other gospels did.  I would have to reread those scenes in the other gospels but memory tells me that the other gospels emphasize the threat Jesus had for the religious authorities rather than the political leaders.  

When Jesus is crucified, “King of the Jews” is written on the cross.  The Jewish authorities want it to be rewritten to say that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.  Pilate refuses.  Again this must be another nod to the idea that Jesus did have power over the Jews and the Jews are responsible for the death of their king.

In the other gospels,women (notably Mary and Mary Magdalene) are present at the cross.  In John, there is also a disciple.  The conversation from the cross is very different.  Jesus does not call out to god about being forsaken nor does he ask god to forgive the people.  Instead, he tells his mother that the disciple with her is now her son.  (More on this tomorrow.)  

John emphasizes that Jesus is definitely dead.  When the guards go to break the legs of Jesus and the two bandits (their only mention) to speed up the death, they realize that Jesus is already dead.  Instead they pierce his side.  John adds that these actions (not breaking the legs and stabbing the side) fulfill old scripture.  

Joseph of Arimathea takes the body and places it in the tomb.

is to get the concrete from the abstract (John 10 - 17)

Jesus continues to emphasize that we must believe in him to gain eternal life and he uses his miracles as evidence that he comes from God.  In fact at one point he says that he and God are one.   The people are outraged that he calls himself God; they say he is only a man.

Before Jesus brings Lazarus back to life he tells Martha that he is the resurrection and the life and that all who believe in him will not die.  And the Jewish authorities are upset when Lazarus is brought back to life because then people will start believing in Jesus and the Romans, for some reason, would destroy the temple.   They plot not only to arrest and kill Jesus but they also want to kill poor Lazarus.  

Then, after predicting his own death and suffering, Jesus gives the new commandment which is to love one another.  In fact he says that if you love one another people will know that you are his followers.   It is a good sentiment.  Maybe it’s not always possible but it’s worth trying nonetheless.   

   

But this is followed by abstract messages of truth and belief.  When I started reading the gospels I wanted to try to see what was there.  And John is very hard.  I can read what is said but they are just words on a page.  Riddles.  Love and forgiveness are abstract for sure but most people have some kind of concept that goes with those words.  Belief is meaningless unless we have a word or a concept that we can believe.  Jesus says “believe in God and believe in me.  I am the way and the truth and the life.  I will prepare a place in my father’s house.  If you ask for anything in my name it will be given.” 

He goes on to say that if we love him we will obey his commandments and the Holy Spirit will enter us and teach us everything and help us remember everything that Jesus told us.   He also tells us that he is in the father and that we are in Jesus and that Jesus is in us.  And then he says that the greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them.  And then he says that he is our friend.

All this is said just before the arrest and trial of Jesus.

This is the briefest of summaries and I am cheating because I am not writing about everything.  But my problem remains.  None of those words move me in the slightest.  They may move others but they don’t move me.